Sometimes you’re in the mood, sometimes you’re not. This happens to both men and women. In a couple someone will be the low sex drive person, while the other is the high sex drive person. That’s just the way it is. This is thinking straight out of David Schnarch’s works, by the way, not really my own, but I buy into it 100 percent as it makes perfect sense. In relationships, there is never perfect equality. The roles can sometimes shift, yes, but also sometimes we get a little stuck in the low and high sex drive roles. This is where bedroom gear can come in handy, to improve the seduction of the low sex drive partner. We need to first have open communication with low reactivity and high receptivity. Once that difficult groundwork is established, then on to the fireworks. However, even fireworks require careful preparation.
Few things can prepare a person better for a sexual interaction than a good massage. It is all too easy to fall into the trap of giving a bad massage. Fortunately, it doesn’t really require any significant training to give a good massage to someone you know well or are otherwise sexually attracted to as long as you have the right equipment. What it requires is some leverage and decreased friction, just like they taught us in physics class. First, the bed is an awful place to give a massage. The floor is even worse. Furthermore, for a non-professional, a massage table is very awkward to lean over. It is also difficult to store. Fortunately, someone was nice enough to make idiot-proof massage chairs that are inexpensive and comfortable to use. For instance, my wife and I use the OneTouch Journey Massage Chair, which can be ordered online, shipped cheaply, and set up in minutes. It also stores easily. I also recommend avoiding pure mineral oil, baby oil or the like, unless you like sticky staining messes or can put down a tarp. Instead, use Biotone Advanced Therapy Massage Gel with a pump head you can get at a beauty supply store. It glides on the skin like a dream and makes you feel like a professional masseuse even if you have very little idea what you are doing. Decreasing friction goes a long way to improving your intuitive technique, believe me.
A couple other more specialized massage items involve what are known as “trigger points”. These are taut bands of contracted muscle that cause enormous pain throughout the body. We all get them, we just don’t realize it. Common low back pain and tension headaches are mostly trigger point related. I use two tools to release these trigger points that I find as I massage my wife’s muscles. The first is the Trigger Triangle and the second is the Trigger Point Therapy Massage Kit. When using these tools, that come with handy instructions, pressure with or without vibration from the hand is applied for about 30 seconds, which causes a relaxation response in the affected muscle. This provides great relief to stressed out bodies. One more great massage tool is the Heart Stone Massager from SlumberParties.com. However, it is so exclusive, I can’t even provide a proper link here in this article.
Once in the bed, like a good male stereotype, I like to whip out a few more power tools. Some men feel a little ashamed to use vibrators with their partners. First of all, there is nothing to be ashamed of when you provide out of this world ecstasy to your partner. Second of all, it is silly to limit the use of vibrators to the woman’s body. All humans respond to vibration. It is a sense present in every square inch of the skin. So a little back and forth switch giving and receiving with the vibrator might take away that sting of inadequacy that is sometimes wrongly associated with the vibrator. So on to specifics. Many have heard of the Hitachi Magic Wand. It is the gold standard vibrator. It is truly awesome. Unfortunately, it is also attached to a power cord. In my bedroom, it is very easy to get far away from an outlet while on the bed. Big orange extension cords don’t really cut it when you’re trying to sustain a subtle mood. That’s why I’m glad I found the Human Touch Acuvibe (HT-1260). Though not quite as powerful as a Hitachi Magic Wand, it is pretty strong, plus it’s cordless and rechargeable. If you need something less aggressive or maybe in combination, I also highly recommend the Fun Factory LAYAspot. This is a lot like the Lelo from Sweden but it’s less expensive and pretty much just as good.
If you saw the Coen Brothers film, Burn After Reading, you may have noticed the large purple wedge that George Clooney carries around with him from tryst to tryst. This is, of course a Liberator Wedge, readily available for all adventurers. The wedge is comedic appearing, as seen in the movie. It simply isn’t discreet. Fortunately, the fine folks at Liberator finally made one item that is much more discreet but entirely as useful as the wedge. It is the Liberator Whirl. It resembles an oversized neck roll and can be ordered in a color like tan that is much more sedate than the Barney purple one toted by George Clooney.
Just as you’re about to get into that AVN award winning gymnastic sex position, though, you may want to slather your goods in grease. You can never have too much lube, is my motto. Many of you have heard of Astroglide. Fortunately, it is now distributed in drug stores and not just scary adult book shops. Additionally, they came up with two superior improvements in the original product, which are called Astroglide X and Astroglide Natural. The first has more silicone-type lubricant in it, the second is lighter and more “oral-friendly” if you get what I mean. One downside to the lube is definitely the lack of palatability. The “natural” product tries to overcome this.
If that doesn’t get you worked up enough, do what I do, tie up your sweetie. Better yet, have her tie you up. What with, you may ask? I favor Twisted Monk Hemp Rope. It is soft, comes in rich delicious colors and it’s what traditional Japanese artists have used for years. Just remember, a wider diameter rope will cut into the skin less owing to the distribution of pressure over a larger surface area. Again, it’s just plain physics, that’s all. And if you want the Cadillac of blindfolds, get a Dream Essentials Sleeping Mask. It’s comfy and lightproof. It’s much better than the crap they sell at the novelty stores.
Finally, where to put all your toys? I know I have problems losing the remote controls in the bed all the time. Even worse if you let your vibrator go wandering with the dust bunnies. So why not get organized with the Neatnix Stuff Bucket? It’s made of washable fabric and it stores just about anything, remotes, toys, crafts. I also use these in the shower as they are water-resistant.
Well, that about wraps it up for now. I hope this has been of benefit to those who have taken the time to read it. Thank you.
Approved by The Nude Monk
